If you really knew me....

I love the new show on MTV called "If you really knew me". It comes on after Teen Mom and they travel to different high schools across America for a one day challenge day. They find the popular kids , the band geeks ,cheerleaders and whoever else that is judged in high school and they put them in groups and allow them to talk about how they feel in order to stop teen bullying & judging each other. The purpose of the show is to break up the cliques and to stop the judging and to get to know each other. It is a very powerful show. I wish they had something like that when I was in high school !!

If you watch the show then you know what happens when they break them up in groups. They start off by saying " If you really knew me you would know that .....and they go into there story..well this is my story.

If you really knew me you would know that I have been waiting patiently for my knight in shining armor to rescue me from the reality that I live in. Every single time I start dating again they end up being completely and utterly insane. I know that God has a plan for me and he will send me the right dude one day. However I am 30 and I am single again and it sucks. I would like to get started on having a family if that is in the cards for me or at least have a life long partner. So what is a single girl to do ?

If you really knew me you would know that I don't go out like that so staying home isn't going to find me my prince charming and my friends never have anyone to hook me up with and I wouldn't even if they did...bad experience.

However, if you really knew me you would know that I have a crush on this dude that is so hot and we have known each other for years and we have mutual friends and we have had fun nights together and we see each other from time to time. But I want to know how he feels and I want to know if I am just settling because I do not see my prince charming in my immediate future. I just don't know and I want to know. He is super simple in the fact that in all of these years we have never had an adult conversation about "us" I mean to be honest we are so different from each other I don't know if it would work, plus our schedules are so different. The only thing that I know is stuff I hear from our mutual friends like so and so said that he said that he likes you and this and that and its annoying. I wish he would just man up and talk to ME  ! It sounds so high schoolish, doesn't it ? I mean geesh some things never change. I have to be careful what I say because you never know who is reading this and I know he doesn't know that I blog so it's not like he is reading this and if he did read it I don't know if he would think it was him...hahaha !! I am good aren't I ?

I am just going to let things ride like I have been, but the thing is now I am starting to get impatient and I want things now and I think that is the brat in me ...wanting what I want when I want it which I have that power over him but when it comes to communicating about our feelings I don't really know what's good ? I feel like a school girl. Do you remember when you would write on a piece of paper check yes or no if you like me ? Hahah that is so how I feel. Will I ever know ?  Who knows... but we will see ! Only if he really knew me.